Two funnies about my dad

These are prabably the two funniest stories I have about my dad and when I think about them I still get a laugh

1. We had a golden labrador when I was a teenager and I used to search through his fur looking for and retrieving fleas. When I caught one I would put them in a glass of water to drown. I placed this glass of water next to the sink. Later that night I asked Dad where the glass of water had gone and he got this cranky look on his face. He had drunk it, fleas and all. Man that one still cracks me up

2. We had been living in our current house for about a year and new houses were still being built and new gardens were also being established. We went for a family walk one night and as we were walking up the path between two houses my dad says loudly (he was partly deaf so he always spoke loudly) "now that's a bloody awful garden, look at that pink flamingo". Darren and I began to wet our pants because the owners were working in the garden and we are convinced that they heard him. Dad got so cranky cause he had embarrassed himself and we had laughed about it. We never let him forget that one either.